We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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