Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
