so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
