Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she woke up with a sticky ear
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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