He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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