I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
