And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
