Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i've created a new STD.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
