walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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