Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
