Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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