I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize