The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
