HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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