Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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