Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
