I think I just saw someone hide a body.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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