And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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