Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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