Your dad touched me again.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
