I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
