thus making me awesome and them whores
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
