call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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