I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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