i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
