Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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