My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
