Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
