hell yes lets make some ravioli
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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