so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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