Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
