I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
