mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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