Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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