i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
