Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
