I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
