I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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he fucked my hip out of place.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
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SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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