The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
