tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
