The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
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He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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