i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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