it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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