Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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