Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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