scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
