Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
