It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Green mimosas i think yes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
