My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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