'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
