I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
