I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
