that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just gift wrapped bread.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
