ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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