he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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