Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
