wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
