Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
