I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
