I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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