every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
