U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
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